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Going to Holland on Mother’s Day

May 11, 2014

Someone read it.  

Years later, I heard it again. 

In between, I began living it.

Someone read it at a seminar at Murray Center in Centralia, Illinois.  It was one of two things I took away from a day designed to help clergy begin to understand how to help families who have children with developmental issues.  I was a very young pastor and it left me sitting at my table crying.

I heard it again ten days ago today at a Roman Catholic Retreat Center.  A Jewish Rabbi named Chava read it at a United Methodist event called The Five Day Academy for Spiritual Formation.  (More about that some other time, but a short summary of that experience is that I recommend it highly.)

The point for us today is that it’s Mother’s Day, which means many things to different people.  For some, this piece by Emily Perl Kingsley that I first heard heard years ago and then again ten days ago says it well —

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy.

You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans.  The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy.

“All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips.

Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.

 

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8 Comments
  1. Bill Pyatt's avatar
    Bill Pyatt permalink

    O the Places We Go!

    Like

  2. Judy Latta's avatar
    Judy Latta permalink

    Holland has been a source of confusion frustration pain and fear. Holland has been a place of joy love and pride. I believe my life in Holland has been and will continue to be so.

    Like

  3. Jenny Rodriguez's avatar
    Jenny Rodriguez permalink

    I love this story, Joe. Thanks for sharing it today, on Mothers Day

    Like

  4. Linda Lewis's avatar

    I had read this many years ago and found it an extremely valuable perspective of parenthood that challenge many parents, and that often includes all of us.

    Like

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