Someone you care about has just something bad happen. To borrow a favorite book title of mine from first grade, “What do you say now?”
“I’m sorry for your loss” isn’t a bad start. There’s a reason so many people use it so often.
But you and I can sometimes do more.
For example,
1. LISTEN. Pay attention. Both to what the person says and what their silences say.
2. ADDRESS. Don’t avoid the realities of the situation. If s/he is talking, try to understand and help name what’s being said. Asking questions of clarification can be helpful.
3. LISTEN SOME MORE. Let’s not talk to hear the wonders of our own wisdom. Let’s not babble to cover our awkwardness at silence. That quiet moment might be exactly what the other person needs.
4. LET GOD BE GOD. You and I don’t have all the answers. We can turn to the Old and New Testaments for God’s words, but never do we want to put someone else’s words in God’s mouth. We pray to our Lord, often together, and that’s a very good thing.
I’ve found these simple practices to be helpful, both when I’m the one in crisis and when I’m with someone in the midst of loss and grief. What have you found beneficial? I’d love to hear from you, so feel free to leave a comment here. And I’ll see you back here soon.
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