This Holiday Season, Let’s Notice Who Isn’t Celebrating

By Joshua Becker

“If you see someone moving a little slower this season, be gentle. Grief gets heavier in December.”

December carries a reputation for being “the most wonderful time of the year.” And for many of us, it is—a month filled with lights and music, prized relationships and familiar traditions.

But it is also true, behind the celebrations, December is one of the heaviest months for many people.

In fact, 60% of people say their anxiety or depression worsens in December. Equally significant, despite the festive atmosphere, nearly 9 in 10 adults feel stress this time of year. What is billed as the most joyful season of the year may actually be the hardest for someone close to you right now.

Grief hits harder in December. Stress becomes more intense. Loneliness feels more present. Loss becomes impossible to ignore. And family strife feels constantly present. 

The pain gets worse—all while Christmas songs play on repeat.

And maybe, this year, we would all be wise to slow down long enough to look around, notice who isn’t celebrating, and love them as best we can.

If you know someone who lost a loved one this year: A spouse. A parent. A friend. A child. Be thoughtful. 

The first holiday season after loss is almost indescribable. The “first” everything after loss can be painful: the first anniversary, the first birthday, the first start of the school year… and among that list: the first holiday season without a loved one. 

So please, think back through the year, and share some extra love with those you love who lost a loved one this year. For someone grieving, even a simple “I’m thinking of you today” can mean more than we realize.

Loneliness can also feel elevated during the month of December and holiday season. Be a friend to someone who is alone: The widow down the street. The coworker who moved to a new city. The friend whose kids are grown and far away. Or the divorced spouse who moved into the apartment next to yours.

Loneliness is always hard, but it is especially hard in December. In fact, 66% of us report feeling lonely during the holidays! That’s a lot of people who need a friend right now, today, as you’re reading this. Be the friend they need.

Let’s notice those who are weary and tired: The single mom. The foster parent. The parents of a child with special needs. The caregiver for an aging parent or spouse. Those who continue to battle chronic illness and wish so much they could serve others this season but are physically unable to do so. 

Put yourself in their shoes for just a bit. I mean, even those of us who are healthy and well feel drained by the end of December. So let’s show compassion and care and do what we can to ease the burden of those already carrying so much.

And there are more people that we need to notice this time of year: The coworker who got laid off. The friend with an unsupportive family. The child with parents in prison. The financially struggling. The parent ripped apart by family tension and estranged relationships.

Our world needs love this holiday season. Let’s be the ones to provide