“We are Terrible at Grieving”
“We are terrible at grieving,” says Angela Schellenberg. “We can get better by carrying grief’s momentary compassion forward.“
When loss hits someone you know, make sure that person isn’t alone at the loneliest moments of life, says Schellenberg. Don’t ask, “What can I do?” or say, ‘If you need anything, let me know.‘
“Just do it. Drop coffee and pastries or a gift card at the front door.
“If it happens to you, wouldn’t you want someone to do that for you?” she says.
Be sensitive. Recognize that there is no getting over a loss, that it changes a person forever. Kessler maintains there is a personal and social cost in barreling through grief.
It isn’t healthy to ruminate, but if we gloss over it, the neglected chore of dealing with it will surface at some point, Kessler says.
“What we run from pursues us,” he says. “What we face transforms us.”
SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS What ways can you suggest for coping with grief or helping a loved one who is grieving?
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