BONUS BLOG: a prayer for when you’re desperate

You know how you have people in your life who were profoundly influential and even more helpful, but you’ve never thanked them?

Bill Bowdle is one of them in my life. Decades ago, he was there in ways he probably never noticed and would certainly not remember. But I noticed. And I remember. And I’ve very recently thanked him.

Here’s an example of his spirit, which I share here with his graciously expressed permission. As is so often the case, the best thing I can do is get out of the way —

Here’s a prayer I wrote in 2012 for a struggling friend to pray in the midst of struggles. It may be helpful to others facing tormenting struggles. May God’s peace and power pour into your life as God’s hand of grace grips your hand of need.

DEAR GOD, I’M DESPERATE AND I NEED DELIVERANCE. Thank you for every bit of deliverance you can give to me now. Help me to be strong and patient to await any deliverance that doesn’t come as quickly as I think I need it.

My thoughts are devastating and destructive to my peace of mind. When my mind races out of control, help me put the brakes on my racing thoughts. Help me hang on for dear life to your strong hand during any mental turmoil that I can’t seem to slow down to a calmer pace.

When I feel like giving up on life, and letting go of everything, please hang on to me, and hold me tightly in the grip of your grace, when I don’t even feel strong enough to hang on to you. Help me survive beyond the overwhelming assault of stress, till I come out on the other side of the storm, and can relax enough to see that your mighty hand never let go of me, even when I felt most devastated, least helped and most out of control.

When I feel like I am walking into the fiery inferno of hellish thoughts and feelings, wash over me with the cool waters of grace and cleansing, washing away my anxiety ….. wiping away my torment …. and reconnecting me with every source of positive power in my life. Connect me with the strongest parts of my inner self. Wash me clean and pure in the holy water of your outpouring love.

Wash away my grief for life’s disappointments, and my guilt for my worst choices and mistakes. When I feel like I’m drowning in a stormy sea of assaults on my sanity, O Christ, come walking on the water of my storms, and lift me by the hand above the dangerous waves of my private stormy sea. Hold me high in your strong, rescuing hand of grace. Guide my feet to solid ground, to solid shores and to solid rocks that can withstand any of the storms that sometimes seem to blow unmercifully against me.

When my mind swirls with conflicting thoughts and raging feelings, and I don’t know which way to turn, and which internal voices to trust, help me have the wisdom to seek solid Christian counsel from your word, from my church and from skilled Christian counselors, who can all help me sort out, and separate truth from fiction, and wisdom from folly.

When I feel inward impressions and compulsive thoughts rising up within me, insistently seizing my attention, and trying to compel my decisions to go in unhealthy directions, please help to protect me from myself. Help me to resist error, fight off distorted thoughts, and have the courage to live above damaging emotions, so that, when things calm down and the mental fog begins to clear away, I will discover that I’ve made sound, rational and effective choices about which I can feel content and even proud.

Help me find healing in every possible dimension of my life, through the touch of your miraculous power. But if there are struggles that I must fight on a daily basis, with no miraculous instant relief in sight, help me to struggle forward effectively to discern wise ways to think and behave. Give me the best of my energies, and your energies beyond my own, to defeat my mental and emotional “demons,” and climb laboriously step by step up out of the dark basement cellars of discouragement, depression and defeat.

Have mercy upon me, O God, delivering me from my days of difficulty, and helping me to do everything I can do to put myself in a position where your hand of deliverance can be effective in locating, reaching and rescuing me.

I believe I am meant for life, and I reach up to you to receive and claim life, even in those moments when my feet feel like they are sinking into the quicksand of deadly failure, and emotional devastation. Help my feet find foundations of deliverance that lead up out of the sticky grip of defeat, and upward into the rescued Christian family of God’s faithful sons and daughters. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

(Written by Rev. Bill Bowdle on August 31, 2012)