How to Deal with Anxiety, part 4 of 5

Still Dr. John Delony —

Ways to Get Rid of Anxiety

We’ve created a world that our bodies can’t live in. Normal life is full of outrageous demands and expectations for what we can accomplish. But the fires in our lives are the problem—not the alarms. When the alarms get too loud, finding peace and relief from the chaos can be difficult. But it’s not impossible.

Your mental health matters.

If you’re ready to take your healing one step deeper, I want to encourage you to do five important things today to start changing your relationship with anxiety.

1. Realize anxiety is not an identity, a badge of honor, or a cone of shame.

Anxiety is a learned physical and mental response to threats and disconnection—perceived or real. It’s not a disease—it’s an alarm system. It’s your body’s way of trying to take care of you. And since you learned it, it can be unlearned. You are not your anxiety.

2. Listen to what the alarms are saying.

Pay attention to your personal anxiety alarms and what makes them go off. Maybe it’s running into a certain coworker in the hall or being ignored by someone you care about. Or maybe it’s when you arrive home after a long, exhausting day and feel afraid to step inside because loneliness is waiting to greet you. Maybe it’s a past tragedy, deep trauma or hyper-stressed mind. Pay attention to what your anxiety alarms are telling you so you can get what you need.

3. Look at the world you’ve built for yourself and examine your day.

Pause and examine your past, your current life, and your intentions and values for the future. I encourage you to write down your answers to these questions to get started:

• Am I safe and valued in my current environment?
• Do I have a support system of close friends and professionals I can lean on?
• Have I dealt with past traumas and painful relationships?
• Do I have a space where I’m connected and vulnerable with others?
• Do I find purpose and meaning in my work?
• Do I have space or margin in my life, both at home and at work?
• Am I free? Do I owe money on car loans or credit cards? Do I have family and work boundaries? Is someone else dictating my calendar?
• Am I prioritizing my health by eating well, exercising, and getting seven to nine hours of sleep every night?
• Do I believe in something bigger than me?
• What forms of distraction or comfort am I addicted to?

See what you learn—and what needs to change. You can heal and design an entire new future for yourself.

4. Stop trying to control the whole world.

You can only control two things in the world: your thoughts and your actions. That’s it. You can’t control gas prices or inflation. And you can’t control other people’s attitudes, insecurities, lack of boundaries, or behaviors. Choose to spend your energy growing in strength and character and taking ownership of your choices and behavior. It may be difficult, but your thoughts and actions can be tamed. It just takes strength and practice, like working out a muscle.