BONUS BLOG: A Rabbi, a Bishop, a Church…and Beyond

Ken Carter is a colleague, an online friend who responds to texts and emails, and oh yeah he’s a United Methodist Bishop. Yesterday he wrote this —-

Saturday Morning

September 23, 2023

Good morning! A rabbi friend shared this, taken from the noted rabbi and psychologist Abraham Twerski. Humans, the rabbi noted, have five basic needs.

Food
Water
Clothing
Shelter
And Someone to Blame.

There is a profound “aha” in that last one, and some humor, and some depth. And a confession: it hits close to home. It was shared in anticipation of the observance of Yom Kippur, and in a conversation about repentance.

Why do I share it with you? In full disclosure, this is for United Methodists. If this is not relevant, go to the end of the post. But since it is about the human condition, it may speak beyond our tribe.

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We have moved through most of the disaffiliations that we will see from our churches. We have held charge conferences to act on these, which have been open and democratic. To the district superintendents I say thank you. The annual conference will act on the disaffiliations of the last group of churches in Western North Carolina on November 4. A number of clergy will depart as well.

The great majority, a supermajority of our churches, members and clergy will remain. To these I say thank you. And we are pivoting toward the mission God has given us.

So, the rabbi’s wisdom. As United Methodists, we need to let go of our need to blame others. To blame churches who have departed. To blame clergy who have led them in this direction. To blame people for speaking mistruths about us. To blame friends who might have voted differently than we wished they had voted.

I am asking us to let go of our human need to blame.

It is finally their own relationship with their own Creator. They are no longer our responsibility. And they never were. It is finally between each of us and our Creator.

Blame can become, if we cling to it, a form of work avoidance. We have our own work to do. We have our own communities to serve. We have our own relationships with God and our neighbor.

The basic human need to blame is not who we are at our best. It is not even God’s desire for us.

Blaming gets in the way of repentance. Repentance is a reorientation to the calling in our lives. In the language of Ronald Heifetz, it is connecting to purpose.

I have described this calling by using three words:

Grace. Connection. Holiness.

Now, a word I must also state, and it will be a brief one. For the denomination and independent churches that are emerging out of recruitment of United Methodists (which is not an evangelical strategy, I have noted along the way, but proselytizing), for the denomination that is forming out of these disaffiliations, your calling is also not to cast blame on what you see in us.

I am asking you to let go of your need to blame us for your actions.

Simply go in peace and enjoy the church you dream about. Use your blogs, magazines and gatherings to go about the calling of your own church. Along the way and over many years a number of you promised me that you would do this. Now is the time.

For you and for us.

Back to our own spiritual work: we are called to repent, to take responsibility for our own spiritual lives, our mistakes, yes our sins, and to move forward into the future that God dreams about for us. To connect to our purpose.

It is a church that is clear about our dependence on the grace of God through Jesus Christ (cross).

It is a church that is clear about our connection with each other—we are the body of Jesus Christ (relationships).

It is a church that teaches and lives a love for God, a love for our neighbor, a love for our enemies and a love for ourselves (flame).

Said differently…
We are not a church of works righteousness, laws or trials.
We are not a church of heroic solo leaders, celebrities or lone rangers.
We are not a church that understands holiness to be exclusion, superiority or separation.

So…
I am trying to replace blame with repentance.
I want to see the people who are with us, and let go of the people who have not been with us.
I am rejoicing in the miracles, the growth, the honesty and the space to breathe.

Day by day, week by week, I see it.
I want you to see it too.

Insofar as it depends on each of us, we can live in peace. That begins with letting go of our human need to locate someone to blame. And this creates a wide, wonderful open space for the new thing God is wanting to do.

We are on the way to a better church.

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Beyond all of this, I am grinding the beans, walking and stretching, reading the Moravian Daily Texts, morning and evening prayers with David Adam’s A Celtic Psaltery, listening to Linda Ronstadt, and entering into the activities of the fall. Tomorrow morning I will preach at Williamson’s Chapel with Toni Ruth Smith and Wes Smith, and tomorrow afternoon I will celebrate Holy Communion with Bev Coppley at High Point University’s Chapel, in a service of healing and hope. And next week I will be engaged with a cohort of leaders who are focusing on peace-building and ministry in this season; Gary Mason will be with us. Gary will also give a public lecture on Monday morning in Huntersville and on Wednesday evening at Lake Junaluska. Yesterday I posted the registration link. Join us!

I constantly encounter people along the way who read these Saturday morning reflections and I was not aware. This week I will actually be in the metro area, in the triad and in the mountains. But I am also increasingly grateful for the digital space where we gather, in this moment, right now.

Thanks for your prayers, your friendship, for reading and for the connection!