BONUS BLOG: About Mass Shootings & Shooters

I don’t want to talk about policies or laws in this. This is for talking about how we personally, in our families, safeguard our sons and keep them from this path of violence as best we can.

Tim Vogt wrote that and all that follows. He’s a key part of Starfire, one of LJ4’s primary agencies in Cincinnati, and he says it’s ok to share this with you — 

I’ve been reflecting on this past weekend’s tragedies in El Paso and Dayton…..and I hope we never need to worry about this, but would like to talk about it….I’m wondering what we can do as parents to keep our sons, and all of [our communities], safe.

A few thoughts:

— if we think he needs therapy, do it. There’s no shame in that… tons of people spend time in therapy and it really helps. It’s not like 30 years ago when it was stigmatized

— if we have guns, lock them up like Ft. Knox. Seriously, no young person should have access to any gun without us supervising it. Double the locks. Change the combination every month. Keep the ammo separate under another lock.

— watch our language, especially around being angry. Don’t talk about our political frustrations with him, especially if it sounds angry. Don’t watch extreme media around him. Don’t let him think violence is any kind of answer, especially regarding women, minorities or authority figures.

—be present in positive ways…affirm him and his future. Tell him daily how proud we are of him and how much we love him. Help him see a good future even if it seems far off now to him.

—Share stories of when we were young and how we felt, and how we worked through it.

–do things with him that engage his senses…outside or artistic or hands-on. Get him out of screen-world every now and then.

—pay attention to what he is consuming media wise. Ask him about his social media accounts and just check in with him. Make sure he knows how this stuff can influence his mental health.