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A Moment.

April 5, 2017

Fixing the day’s first cup of coffee, I was looking out the kitchen window. It was raining. I was tired.

Felt like there were too many things to do. Too many places to go. And the rain made it worse.

I wondered if I’ll ever have a day when I won’t have to go anywhere.

Then I flashed to a sudden image of my mom and lots of others. Who CAN’T go anywhere.

In the last 7 or 8 years, the only times my mom’s been outside of her nursing home are quick trips to a doctor’s office or the hospital in the facility’s specialized van.

Nothing wrong with the nursing home! Great place, great staff.

My point here is that she cannot get out to go anywhere.

On her own she wisely gave up her license and sold her car a couple of decades ago. We can’t safely transport her ourselves. Then there are the issues of her decreasing clarity and increasing dementia, along with some sanitary considerations and others, all of which have combined to keep her confined.

That’s not how it used to be.

All of that is a change for an art teacher who hung out with student teachers rather than her peers, who loved her yellow convertibles with leather seats and good sound systems, and who still went on her own extended Spring Break Trips well into her 80’s.

She’ll be 105 in July.

She can’t get out, even when her fog clears for a while and she’s speaking and acting like her previous self and wanting to go someplace.

You and I know people of all ages and situations who are like that.

Help me remember this the next time I get ready to complain about having too many places to go and too much to do.


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  1. Naomi Roberts permalink

    Great advice, Joe. That’s why it is so important to visit them and let them know they are loved.


  2. Trent's Mom permalink

    I was tired yesterday and wishing I didn’t have to get in the car again and drive 75 miles. But I drove up and took Mom from assisted living to a Doctor appointment. She was so excited just to see trees in bloom and was so surprised that water was standing in the fields– didn’t realize they’d had that much rain! I thought to myself, it is tough for her not to be able to get out whenever she wants to. To not be as independent, or able to volunteer as she loved to do. So glad she was able to find joy even in the drive to a Doctor appointment and I was thankful to be able to spend time with her.


    • Thank you for this! Your mom saw “trees in bloom” and you got to see her the same way, still in bloom. Love it!


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